Sunday, March 29, 2020

And we're done

So I will no longer be posting here. If you have been following my blog then you will know that I went to a rather large and extended effort to change my name back to my legal birth name (follow my name change label). I'm not completely finished in the process, kind of ran out of steam at a certain point, but I did start a new blog using my 'new' (old) name. That's where I will be posting from now on.

So, if you have bookmarked this blog, change it now to said ElizabethAnn. Or look for it on the right side of this blog and follow the link…

See you there!

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Status update

I have been sick now for over 10 days. Pretty sure it's not covid-19 but no way to know for sure as the only people being tested are recent arrivals from away or their contacts who display the typical symptoms, and I don't fall into either of those categories. Which is fine, I am practicing social distancing and washing my hands and all that, and a couple of neighbours have offered to do grocery shopping for me. I don't feel like I am mortally ill, just not very well.

One of the most bothersome things is the level of anxiety. The other night I started obsessing about symptoms, and whether or not I have the virus. I kept looking stuff up on the internet and at one point I looked up anxiety. Bingo! At least half of what I am experiencing could easily be attributed to anxiety. How do you separate out what is real illness and what is the physical effects of anxiety?

So now I am in effect social isolating. There are certain people who raise my level of anxiety so I am not calling or responding to calls from them. Not that I dislike them, I just can't handle how those conversations affect me right now. I think we all have to forgive friends and family for being less than perfect, but in trying times we also have to protect ourselves.

All parks are closed, including the Reservoir. So no walking the dog there. I miss all the other dogs, as does Hapi. Today we met one of her buddies out for a walk and the two dogs wanted to walk together. Ironically both dogs are large and both owners are small; it was a bit of a tug-of-war to separate them. The other dog whined at the injustice of it all and Hapi dug in her feet and refused to move. If I am not careful she can slip out of her collar because I can't tighten it up enough without choking her. She knows that.

Photo notes: someone hung a bunch of teeny weeny bird houses in the woods at the Reservoir. These pics are from before the park was closed and also before our latest big snow storm.

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Post-hike malaise

I did go on the hike I mentioned in my last post and it was pretty grueling. Hapi and I both survived it, but only just barely. The pace was being set by a couple of younger people and Hapi and I were the slowest. The first half was all uphill. The hike leader realized how far I was lagging behind so he chose to stick with me and let everyone else go ahead. I was grateful for that but at the same time it didn't feel great to be the slowest person.

On top of that, I was overdue for visiting B in the hospital and I thought I wouldn't be able to do it the next day due to various other commitments, so barely I got home and I turned around again to go to the hospital. Not a great visit, B was crying and trying to plan a way to escape the hospital. Since she's on oxygen and can hardly make it from her bed to the toilet with her walker it was all very hypothetical but I went along with it.

After all was said and done, I had cold symptoms a couple of days later. Great. Meanwhile the world is going crazy over covid-19 and since the overlap between flu, cold and covid-19 symptoms is pretty fuzzy, there was the additional anxiety of maybe this isn't a cold. I couldn't tell if I had a fever or not. Turns out my thermometer is well past its best-by date and you can't get a thermometer for love or money, anywhere. A little more anxiety.

This morning I woke up feeling hellish. Hapi spent the night in the basement because of the wind and rain (she doesn't like it) and sure enough she had peed the bedding so I had to get up to let her out and start a laundry. A few hours later the wind had diminished somewhat so I drove her to the Reservoir for a walk. I photographed some tiny new "birdhouses" hung in the bushes. Very brightly coloured, like Easter decorations.

And so it goes.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

When life bites you in the behind, keep moving

This weekend I hit a wall, figuratively speaking. Appears to have caused major damage, still coming to terms with it. I hate when that happens!

Monday morning I took Hapi to the Reservoir, she dawdled her way there and back while I was so frustrated, angry, depressed and tired that I had to really concentrate on not yanking her leash to speed her up. When we finally got home I called a couple of friends and left messages to call me back and then put a big bowl of food out for her and took myself on a two and half hour brisk walk in ugly weather out on the dikes. By myself. Got home exhausted, too tired anymore to be angry, depressed or frustrated.

One of the friends called me back, she'd spent quite a lovely morning at the gym and later out for lunch. When I told her about my forced march and state of mind we ended up joking about it. A lot of laughing. She apologized for laughing but really it was helpful. Took the edge off things.

The trails at the Reservoir are still icy, one dogwalking friend is staying away and another just flew to the Barbados for a month-long vacation. She owns a condo there. Yesterday a couple of us asked her if she was concerned about travelling right now. She said she had looked for hand sanitizer but couldn't find any so she bought gloves instead. Someone asked her, But aren't you scared? She replied, "I'm 94! Something is going to get me! I can't be wasting time feeling scared!" We'll all be counting the days until she returns.

Today I went on a short hike with the Wednesday walking group, they do much easier walks than the Thursday hiking group. Hapi dawdled along behind, waving her tail happily but definitely dawdling. A couple of times I had to go back for her because there was a car coming or there was a big dog at a house we were walking by or whatever. Nothing happened and she was fine. Tomorrow the Thursday group is going to a location that I want to go to but realistically I shouldn't. Haven't made up my mind yet what to do about that. In the state of mind I am in right now it is better to keep moving so I am too tired to feel anything else, but Hapi may not appreciate that. Leaving her at home for a slower walk later in the day is an option but not really a good one.

Friday, March 6, 2020

Country eggs

Free range rooster
It was a lovely sunny day today, I spent the morning in my writing group and the afternoon running errands and walking along the Gaspereau Canal with Hapi. I think the canal was the first open water she'd seen this year and could not resist going for a wade. Later we walked along the river and by the time we got back to the car her fur was full of ice. The trail along the river was in the woods and completely icy. I could have put my ice grippers on but instead I just slid along the trail, almost like skating through the trees.

Spring lambs
I stopped at the Dabro Farm Market for eggs and took photos of the sheep. Lots of little lambs there now but they won't last long, unfortunately they are all doomed for Easter meals in the city. I took a picture of a sheep by the barn and could hear honking behind him, I looked around the corner of the barn and saw the lone goose amongst the sheep. The goose is alone because its partner was sat on last year by a horse and died of its injuries.

Sheep posing for photo

Goose with friends
After the writing group meeting some of us went to the Brown Bag Lunch downstairs from our meeting room. Every week there is a different speaker and people bring their lunches to eat while listening. Today the topic was immigration. there was a lively discussion. The speaker is part of an organization that helps immigrants integrate into the community and the country.

While running errands I met a man I hadn't seen in a while. He is in his late 80s and Hapi nearly knocked him down. I wasn't sure if he was who I thought he was but he remembered me. I'm the lady who bought yellow paint from him for my house. I asked if he was still selling paint. He said he was. He said he never advertised his business but people just knew about him and he had enough customers to support himself and his family all his life. His son refinished my hardwood floor, I called around and they had the best price and I knew that it was a family business and they took pride in the quality of their work. I know that he is also very active in his community and his church. He has such a lovely smile, it would be hard to dislike him.

For years I have been working on a fantasy story but have been having a lot of difficulty with it because I feel I got sidetracked with it, the story was going in a different direction than what I originally intended and I wasn't happy with it. This past week I just couldn't go on with it. I have been aware for some time that things were not going well but I thought that if I just persevered to the end then I could write the story that I intended in the first place, but this week I realized that while perseverance is certainly a virtue, it is not always the right path. I have decided to abandon it, at least for now. Instead I am writing something else, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time but didn't know how to start. Apparently the answer is, start at the beginning.

Two people at the local air force base are in quarantine, waiting for coronavirus test results. If positive they will be the first in this province. They had just returned from Italy and weren't feeling well. I read that the World Health Organization is saying not to use cash because it can be very germy, but I pay cash for my eggs at the farm market. I could pay by e-transfer I suppose, I know they are set up for that. I was talking to a friend who is a nurse at the local hospital, she said the hospital is chock-a-block full now, there is no room for the coronavirus. We were joking about how to greet each other instead of hugging or touching. She demonstrated a two-handed wave that she thought might be good.