When life bites you in the behind, keep moving

This weekend I hit a wall, figuratively speaking. Appears to have caused major damage, still coming to terms with it. I hate when that happens!

Monday morning I took Hapi to the Reservoir, she dawdled her way there and back while I was so frustrated, angry, depressed and tired that I had to really concentrate on not yanking her leash to speed her up. When we finally got home I called a couple of friends and left messages to call me back and then put a big bowl of food out for her and took myself on a two and half hour brisk walk in ugly weather out on the dikes. By myself. Got home exhausted, too tired anymore to be angry, depressed or frustrated.

One of the friends called me back, she'd spent quite a lovely morning at the gym and later out for lunch. When I told her about my forced march and state of mind we ended up joking about it. A lot of laughing. She apologized for laughing but really it was helpful. Took the edge off things.

The trails at the Reservoir are still icy, one dogwalking friend is staying away and another just flew to the Barbados for a month-long vacation. She owns a condo there. Yesterday a couple of us asked her if she was concerned about travelling right now. She said she had looked for hand sanitizer but couldn't find any so she bought gloves instead. Someone asked her, But aren't you scared? She replied, "I'm 94! Something is going to get me! I can't be wasting time feeling scared!" We'll all be counting the days until she returns.

Today I went on a short hike with the Wednesday walking group, they do much easier walks than the Thursday hiking group. Hapi dawdled along behind, waving her tail happily but definitely dawdling. A couple of times I had to go back for her because there was a car coming or there was a big dog at a house we were walking by or whatever. Nothing happened and she was fine. Tomorrow the Thursday group is going to a location that I want to go to but realistically I shouldn't. Haven't made up my mind yet what to do about that. In the state of mind I am in right now it is better to keep moving so I am too tired to feel anything else, but Hapi may not appreciate that. Leaving her at home for a slower walk later in the day is an option but not really a good one.