What is in a name? It turns out a lot

Taking flight

I am thinking about changing my name.

I was married, briefly, during the '70s. Back then I changed my surname (not knowing any better) to my husband's name, and changing it back to my "maiden name" after the divorce didn't seem worth the bother. So I have spent most of my adult life under an assumed name, or so Vital Statistics tells me. My married name is not a legal name, it is an assumed name.

My brothers and never-married sister all go by the family name (i.e., my father's family name) and so in my family of origin I am an anomaly, the only one not bearing the family name. My kids all have their father's surname, sort of. One has a different father but since I was still legally married at the time he had to be named after my husband who was not his father. Another legally changed his name when he got married to a double-barreled name. This blog is in my ex-husband's and my current surname. My parents and my ex-husband are all dead.

If I had my druthers I'd change my surname to my maternal grandmother's "maiden name", only because I happen to like the sound of it and I know something of its history. But I think changing one's surname to something other than one's own "maiden name" is a bit more expensive.

The other thing is that the given name that I commonly go by is my second name on my birth certificate, and I have always gone by that name even as a very small child. I don't know why that is but I never objected to it and still don't. However since computers became common it has been an ongoing source of irritation because virtually all government agencies insist on using my first given name. If I am sitting in a waiting room it is that first name that gets called out, not my more commonly used second name. Government ID seems to be mixed on the issue, some of it shows the first name, some both names, and some only the second name.

So I thought maybe I should just cave on the issue and go by my first name like almost everybody else does and just stop arguing with officials who insist on it. It will be weird having a new name but at least it will solve a few minor problems.

Into the wild blue...

I started looking up what is involved in changing a name and it turns out that it is really complicated, there is no one agency you can call to deal with it. First of all there is the provincial government, then the federal government, and then of course the municipal government. Each of these involve multiple departments that all must be dealt with separately. Finally there are the financial institutions and various commercial organizations that I have accounts with. I feel quite confident in guessing that it will be an endless task rooting out the last vestiges of my old (i.e., current) name. No wonder I didn't do it right away! But I was naive, I did not know that it would be that much harder now than it would have been three decades ago. Who would have thunk that computers would make things harder not easier?!? (sarcasm)

So why bother? I'm going to blame it on Dorian and Arthur. Arthur was a tropical storm during July 2015 and Dorian a hurricane of less than a couple of weeks ago. In both cases there was widespread damage to the entire province and power outages lasting a week or more. I was very lucky during Dorian to get my power back within 18 hours, extremely lucky actually. My home did sustain a little damage but nothing really devastating. Going without electricity, internet and phone for 18 hours is way different from going without for a week. During Arthur I was without power for 3-4 days I think and that was hard enough. It is a very isolating feeling to not have phone or internet. I did have a cell phone then but not a lot of data so I couldn't go on the internet, and after a couple of days the battery had died anyway and that was that.

None of my kids called me during or after Arthur or Dorian. My brothers did, but not my kids. They are very bad at keeping in touch quite frankly, and I am told that it is because they are men not women. I had the great misfortunate of not bearing a single daughter. I have tried to talk to my sons about the importance of keeping in touch but it just hasn't had an impact. One son cannot be reached by email, he has an email address but he does not read email there because he says there is too much junk mail there and for whatever reason he does not want to create a new email address. Text messages are okay but I have a hard time reducing what I want to say to text message size.

I understand that my two married sons have busy lives with jobs, wives and kids to be concerned about. I was not so great at keeping in touch with my parents when I was their age either. So I resent it and feel a little guilty about it too. But from where I am sitting it looks to me like my siblings are more concerned about me than my kids are, and the name change might be appropriate. An outward and visible sign of true allegiance, so to speak. I feel abandoned whether it is actually true or not, and I feel like I need to disown my family and go on without them (my kids, not my brothers). I am tired of dealing with the recurring disappointment and sense of abandonment.

Aloft

It looks like a long term project and one that will take considerable planning to do everything in the right order. When it is done however, that will be the end of this blog. I will no longer be Mz Odell. I may start another blog in my new name, and if I do I will provide a link here.

Back in Toronto

I arrived home in Toronto this past evening (it's the wee hours of the morning now), everything fine.

I goofed about what I am allowed in carry-on baggage; Peter and Pat gave me some preserves which I should have packed in the checked baggage but instead tried to carry through security. Fortunately my son Josh who had driven me to the airport was still around as he had to update some documents there, so I called his cellphone and he came by security to pick up the suspect preserves. Merry Christmas Josh!

Isaac picked me up at the Toronto airport, he had Dobby in the van who was happy to greet me in the airport parkade. Except Isaac closed the van door on his tail. Oops. Dobby howled briefly and then wagged his whole body in greeting when he saw me.

I've mostly unpacked, but I'll finish tomorrow. I'm still on Vancouver time so it doesn't feel all that late, even though everyone else in the house packed it in hours ago.

When I come home after being away for awhile, and my place has been rented out to someone else, it's a bit strange coming back to things not being quite normal. Not only do I now have to unpack my bags but also all the closets and boxes that I packed my personal belongings away in.

I never met the tenant, all I know about him is what he left behind in the kitchen. Apparently an American who likes Tennessee bourbon and organic blueberry jam.

Rain rain rain

This has been an historically wet month in Vancouver, so I've seen plenty of rain so far! I can probably count on one finger how many hours of unfiltered sunlight I've seen. OK, maybe two fingers.

Gretel drove me to the Toronto airport for 5.30am, kind of a hurry-up-and-wait deal, where you scramble to be at the airport in time and then sit around for two hours waiting for your flight to take off. But at that hour the airplane was not crowded, I had a row to myself. I had made lunch for myself but left it at home, Gretel made me a bagel for breakfast and that had to do for lunch as well.

Johanna picked me up at the airport in Vancouver, we drove downtown for breakfast (it was just past 10 in the morning by the time we left the airport) at a little place on the harbourfront. It rained solidly all day, we didn't go outdoors all day except to get into the car. Just as well, I was thoroughly jetlagged anyway.

Last year I stayed with my friends Dave and Johanna in New Westminster, but they moved to North Vancouver just over a month ago so now I am staying with them in North Van. Since they only just moved, and they both work full-time, they are not fully unpacked, but it looks pretty good. On my first full day here I went out to buy a few groceries, including english muffins for breakfast, only to discover that they have no toaster or toaster oven. They probably do have one, they certainly used to, but it is probably buried in the as-yet unopened boxes in the basement.

They have lots of trails for walking the dog, the sense of living in a rainforest is pretty unavoidable here. Lots of very big trees dripping wet most of the time.


I connected with number 2 son Josh for dinner and a walk on the harbour seawall, last time I was here parts of it were blocked off due to construction but it is all open now. Walking the seawall after dark was quite lovely with all the lights and seaplanes. Out in the harbour there's a float with gigantic Olympic rings displayed, they light up after dark but the middle ring is for some reason not lit. The 2010 winter games will be here in February so they are still working on getting the city ready for that. I'm kind of glad to be missing that, it'll be a madhouse.


We are going to drive up to D'Arcy to see Sam on Wednesday, Josh has never been there. Sam plans to take some time off work to show us a good time in the boonies. He said to be sure to check weather and road conditions before setting out, most of mainland BC is under snow already and some roads in his area are already a bit tricky. After that I have a busy schedule of trips to the Sunshine Coast and Vancouver Island, back to D'Arcy for Christmas and Whistler for New Year's, then down to Seattle for a quick visit there before flying back to Toronto in the new year.

I got out to a movie at Tinseltown with an old friend, we saw Pirate Radio. Quite funny with a lot of good '60s rock and roll. Last time I was at Tinseltown it was like a ghost town. Huge downtown shopping centre with no shops except the movie theatre. They built it just in time for the housing and dot com crash in Vancouver around 2000, it sat empty for years. The cinema is on the top floor, you had to pass through several levels of deserted shops to get to it, very bizarre. But Tinseltown survived the lean years and now it's full of open shops.

Afterward we went for dinner at a favourite Indian restaurant down on 4th. It's a family business, usually empty, not sure how they survive, but they've been there a long time and we usually end up chatting with the owners in the course of the evening. They make the best chai ever.

It's a bit strange not to have my truck handy, I have to take buses everywhere. But so far it's working OK. I rode on the new skytrain for a couple of stops, the train cars are slightly bigger than the regular skytrain cars. Actually, the new line is not called the skytrain, because much of it is underground so it doesn't make sense to call it a skytrain. So what I rode on was really the Canada Line. It goes through a part of Vancouver that in my opinion badly needed a skytrain line, but there was a lot of opposition to putting it in. However the coming Olympics caused the government to ram it through in spite of public opposition. Quite frankly I am glad they did that. This new 'skytrain' goes through the relatively wealthy part of Vancouver, the opposition was largely from folks who didn't want mass transit in their nice neighbourhoods. In my not-so-humble opinion. It used to bug me that I could not skytrain to that part of the city, I pretty much had to drive because the bus system was so inadequate.

So that's my trip so far, I really should get outdoors for the surprise appearance of the sun this afternoon. And this blog post is coming to you from the keyboard of Dora! So far, so good!

Leaving again

I'm off on a jet plane to the west coast, to spend all of December and Christmas with family and friends there. Dora's coming along for the ride, this will be its first trip and hopefully not its last!

...and over the Harbour

A dragger out on the Bay...

The Harbour...

Mike and Ruth's place...

And my house in the woods...

(you probably can't make it out, but my truck is parked in the upper right corner of this photo)

A local man is working on a project documenting the Fundy tides; he booked a helicopter to take him out to Cape Split to film the Rips at high tide. He asked Alden to mow his field for the copter to land; and in return Alden and Sheila and I got to go for a little ride! Whoo-wee!

The 'copter pilot is a chicken farmer, he has several farms in Nova Scotia and PEI and uses his helicopter to get around. Must be rough. I think he really enjoyed this run though. Especially flying between the Split and the rocks off the tip of the Split, five feet above the water!

Along the shore...

Hall's Harbour...

Take-off...

Arrival...

Waiting...

Flying over Sechelt

Today I got to go flying with Josh, my Number Two Son.

Over the last two days we called back and forth to arrange the details, whether I should go to Sechelt and he would pick me up there or go to Horseshoe Bay and meet him there. In the end we agreed on Horseshoe Bay.

That meant I had to be packed up and ready to catch the little foot ferry from New Brighton on Gambier at noon, then transfer to the big car ferry in Langdale back to Horseshoe Bay. Josh would drive there and pick me up at the ferry terminal and then we would drive to the small plane airport at Boundary Bay.

Everything went smoothly and we had our little plane by 3:00pm, Josh had to complete some paperwork and then do a visual inspection of the plane before we could take off.

He also had to instruct me in various safety measures.

We were ready to go at 3:45pm, and got in line behind a couple of other planes waiting for take off. We watched as half a dozen small planes landed before we were given the OK to take off. Busy day!





Our itinerary was to fly over the Port Mann bridge then along the North Shore out to Howe Sound, across and up the Sunshine Coast to Sechelt.



We took a short detour to go to Gambier Island and circle Johanna and Dave's house there a couple of times while I attempted to photograph it from the air.

Out of four photos the house showed up in two blurry ones, not a particularly successful effort. But I didn't want to circle the house a third time.







We landed successfully in Sechelt, where my friends Morrie and Sher were waiting for us.



Morrie has his pilot's licence but has not flown for a long time, they were happy for the opportunity to get up in the air in a small plane again. Plus, they had recently purchased a house near Sechelt and were curious to see it from the air.

We did a little circle tour, up the inlet behind Sechelt as far as Earls Cove and then down the coast back again. We saw lots of gravel pits and fish farms.







Finally, Josh dropped the three of us off in Sechelt and returned to Vancouver, I went home with Morrie and Sher to spend a few days on the Sunshine Coast with them.

My camera battery pooped out somewhere over the inlet behind Sechelt and Josh suggested I take more pictures on his camera, but I haven't seen any of those photos yet. Besides, there's only so many aerial views you can take in! Half my pictures I have no idea what I was photographing at the time.

Flying and driving

I've spent the week so far working through my list of To Do's. Got a lot done, and a lot is slipping to next week. This trip to Belize is good for one thing, I discovered that my passport is about to expire. Will be good for the trip but not much longer than that. Time to renew! Looked it up on the web and discovered that since the last time I renewed the price has skyrocketed, almost a hundred dollars now. Jeesh!

The shoes I've been wearing all winter are thoroughly impregnated with salt now. I should have taken better care of them. I've been trying to rinse the salt out to no avail, finally looked it up and found that I should have been rinsing them in half'n'half vinegar and water every time they were exposed to salt. I can try it now but I think the damage is already done.

I was planning to go shopping tomorrow for some of the things I need for the trip, but now I'm thinking I'll postpone that until next week.

There are two things I am not looking forward to about this trip. The first is that Sam booked me for a flight out of Toronto at 6:30am, and since I have to do both security and US Customs before the flight, that means being at the airport no later than 4:30am. I am definitely not that kind of morning person!

The second thing is US Customs in Houston, on the return trip. I have less than an hour and a half for that, and the last time I had to do that it took more than an hour and a half. Had to run halfway across the airport, with all of my baggage, to make my next flight. Not fun.

I really dislike flying these days. It seems they go out of their way to make it an unpleasant experience. And that's why I love my truck, I'd far rather drive five thousand kilometers than fly them, I really would. And do. I've driven across the continent at least eight times now, and each time getting there has been as interesting as being there.

Last summer I had to do it in a very unreliable truck (wouldn't start) and ended up being helped by very kind people in several locations along the way. I now correspond with a family in Minnesota, who put me up for a weekend while they worked on getting my truck back on the road. The kindness of strangers. Our politics and religious beliefs couldn't have been more opposite, but we had a very good time. And I learned a lot from them.

Sure wish I could drive to Belize.