January blues

I was talking to my old friend Beth on the phone this morning, we ended up commiserating over winter depression. She was saying that she thought she'd done well to hold out for as long as she had, and I was saying that I was kind of surprised to be feeling depressed now because I am used to it hitting in the fall and I thought I had sailed right through. But kind of not surprising, the worst months in Vancouver are November and December, dark and rainy. And I usually look forward to January because for me Christmas has usually been a particularly bad time. January means Christmas is over for another year, the days are starting to get longer and knock on wood it is slightly less rainy and there is starting to be more sunny days. And by February there are crocuses and daffodils, so spring is well on its way.

But here in Toronto, January and February are the coldest snowiest months, and there are no flowers till April. Fall is actually quite pleasant, lots of fall colours and sun and blue skies (compared to Vancouver!). And being in a new city it was all new and interesting and not depressing at all. But now it's January, winter came early this year so it's been winter a long time now and no end in sight. I am starting to feel just how long it is. So I guess I should get used to January blues. I thought I was doing so well to not get depressed in the fall, and really it was just the change in climate.

I've also not been particularly well, which is frustrating (and depressing). Apparently some kind of low grade infection in my ears or eustachian tubes, and it takes forever to clear up. I just feel dizzy and very low energy all the time. Going stir crazy, I force myself to get out and do things, with variable results. Sometimes I get away with it, sometimes it totally exhausts me.

Isaac heard me laughing upstairs and I told him I was laughing because I was on the phone with Beth and we were sharing how depressed we both were. Well misery loves company I guess.